Post by Samsali Elensar on Jun 4, 2006 0:58:04 GMT -5
Okay. Mike.
'Dreaming Of The Day When She Died' would be the title, mmkay? But think about it.. Try to shorten that a bit.. 'Dreams Of The Day She Died' or 'Dreaming Of When She Died' or 'The Day She Died' or something shorter.
If you have a 'somebody said, "Sghsha!"' phrase, commas go after the said. You make a new paragraph for each new person speaking.
'Too', not 'to'!!
Make descriptions, not just 'He did this. He did that. Then he did that one thing. Then decided to do something else.'! Describe how this happened, make it longer, make more happen, describe what she looks like, use verbs and adjectives, better words than sadly and ran and said.
You are having too much happen. You need to have less happen in each of your posts. It's important.
Quotes don't go around thoughts, but the first letter of the thought is capitalized. After each person finishes talking, it's a new paragraph.
Make it longer, make it more descriptive, make it grammar-ized, make it interesting, make it emotional, and make it real. After changes are applied to your writing automatically without me drilling them into your head, you will be getting closer to being able to write.
'Dreaming Of The Day When She Died' would be the title, mmkay? But think about it.. Try to shorten that a bit.. 'Dreams Of The Day She Died' or 'Dreaming Of When She Died' or 'The Day She Died' or something shorter.
If you have a 'somebody said, "Sghsha!"' phrase, commas go after the said. You make a new paragraph for each new person speaking.
'Too', not 'to'!!
Make descriptions, not just 'He did this. He did that. Then he did that one thing. Then decided to do something else.'! Describe how this happened, make it longer, make more happen, describe what she looks like, use verbs and adjectives, better words than sadly and ran and said.
You are having too much happen. You need to have less happen in each of your posts. It's important.
Quotes don't go around thoughts, but the first letter of the thought is capitalized. After each person finishes talking, it's a new paragraph.
Make it longer, make it more descriptive, make it grammar-ized, make it interesting, make it emotional, and make it real. After changes are applied to your writing automatically without me drilling them into your head, you will be getting closer to being able to write.
